I've always been a shy person and never really went into the dating game. At 22, still a virgin, never had a first kiss. Sometimes women would stare at me or make signals, but I hated it. I didn't know whether it was sexual interest, concern, or just a need to try and make friends. Oft we would never speak and that's that. I always loathed when that happened, since I thought to myself, if you really want to know me, why not say something? Honestly, the whole staring thing really unnerved me sometimes and I didn't want to respond period.
But other times, I would always notice women were very much into superficial things. For example, they always fake smile or put an emphasis into quirky traits of personality instead of cultivating a genuine personality: Style over substance you might say. Their need of always making goofy faces and genuinely acting like buffoons in photos and videos, it's like they're trying hard to impress someone. They always wear ridiculously form fitting outfits and are insistent on showing as much skin as possible, like they're trying to devalue themselves. The same goes for their need to wear pretty jewelry and make sure their hair looks long and pretty.
Then I came upon a revelation: Women are like pets. You rarely ever see them with any genuine personality of their own, instead they oft prefer to talk in silly voices or get ludicrously excited over nothing. Men do the same thing but certainly not to the degree that women do. And the insistence of women on playing games, especially when it comes to seduction, feels so cheap because you're essentially reducing the aspect of trying to get to know someone to half-hearted gestures and deceits, like someone is a prize to be won and not someone to be known for their merits.
This talk of courtship as a game I've realized, reinforces my theory that women are like pets only further, because oftentimes women will look at you the wrong way or something if you make the slightest wrong flirtation or say the wrong thing, and push you away. They're reducing themselves to things to be won and the whole game of courtship is not unlike the way someone needs to approach an animal correctly lest they are growled at or attacked. The way women go around superficially collecting things, the whole game of courtship, it recalls to mind that I reading Chaucer today and one particularly amorous character says, "What women want is to dominate their men." Seeing women play these games and their juvenile attraction to bad boys and whatnot, the way they devalue themselves does make it seem like they want to devalue men to prove something to themselves.
This sounds a polemic readily answerable by saying, "You shallow twit, stop obsessing with the hot girls only!" Well it's not really about that. Even unattractive girls have ridiculous amounts of forced enthusiasm and pride themselves on fashion as well as making superficial social gestures to try and look cute, like pets, which overrides their genuine humanity.
Needless to say, all this leaves me feeling very angry as well as nihilistic for well, half the human race. I never was very social or optimistic for mankind but to know that half are inferior based on their genes alone is such an existential crisis. That's why this isn't really fitted for Love and Romance. True, my romantic failures play a part but that's quibbling compared to what this is really about.
So refute me 4ch. I want to be proven wrong. Help me.
almost amusing how your experiences with a handful (out of the estimated 3430000000 female humans on this planet) determines your view on what all women always do... <sigh>
Listen to >>4, mate, he's made some good points. If that doesn't help, go see how girls are in a different country. Maybe the place you live in has social forms that demand or generally favour such behaviour in (I presume) young women. Watch some non-hollywood, independent movies. Basically, broaden your horizon and then re-evaluate your initial statement - for some reason I find it hard to believe that all women always behave like those you described. It really really saddens me to see how your readily made judgement likely prevents you from scratching the surface and maybe seeing that underneath, there is an actual real human (...you are actually one species) who's just as individual and unique as any other human... You don't really sound like someone who needs to hate other beings to feel secure and superior... Maybe, if you wouldn't generalize so much, a female friend could help you crack the code to female social behaviour.....?
anyways. just my 2p.
Hey OP,
I realized that I hate women too, probably because most of them conform with gender roles - like, women = long hair. Just one of the many reasons.
I did think of them "as like pets" too... I think we have the same thoughts...
................
So I settled on ignoring the fact that they're women. I stopped recognizing genders. What's important is that they're like us too, people.
>>So I settled on ignoring the fact that they're women. I stopped recognizing genders. What's important is that they're like us too, people.
THIS.
Also, stop worrying about it and talk to the weird girls who you only ever see talking to boys. You'll either find a complete slut, or someone like me who just doesn't get along well with most of her gender.
>>13 and how would that make of you inappropriate girlfriend material?
That's just the outer shell, keeping up appearances. Once you get inside, they're a lot more real.
Women = Men
There's really no diference without the penis and the vagina.
Humans are humans, most of them betray eachother, are superficial and stuff, think sex it's more important, that looks it's more important and stuff.
BUT
There's always a marge of error in the stadisticts.
There's a girl that complement you fine, just one.
If you hate women so deeply well, have power exchange relationship or something to liberate your anger and clean yourself.
Don't miss the beauty things in life for silly emotions and traumas.
But maybe also you could be asexual at all.
:D I suggest go to the shrink
You know what? Men aren't all that great either. I'm not one of those girls that wears the up to date fasion, I have short hair, and I can't keep track of earrings or regular rings and gave up on jewlrey a long time ago. And I have no idea on how to use make up. Guess what? Guys don't look at me because I'm not the dumb skinny blonde flirting and giggling it up.
Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration. It's true that I don't wear make up and I cannot keep track of jewelry, so I cannot fit into how you categorize women. The difference is I don't have the difficulty with men as you do with women. I can get a date, I even have a boyfriend, but the point is that I do the same thing as you. Whenever I see a guy that I consider "hot" or extreemly attractive I think that he's not looking for personality or brains, but he'll look at me and find me not up to his standards of physical attraction. But it's not a loss for me, because he's probably dumb, parties all the time and doesn't care about things that actually matter (such as current events, global economics, modern philosophy, recent scientific advancements, etc, etc.)
Basically what you are doing is instead of recognizing your hurt feelings for getting rejected you assume girls are all the same and not worth the effort anyways. The only way you will ever get past your pettiness is by learning how to socialize and make friends with the "creatures" you despise. Once you get past the pettiness you'll be able to see that there are a lot of different girls and that girls aren't as petty or shallow as you think they are.
OP here.
Well when you say things like that you hate most of your gender, it seems that you're affirming that my hate of women is right. That there might be a few good apples does not change that for the most part, women do act fruity. I have quite a few "unorthodox" female friends so to speak and while they are different from the average female, they still bear the problems I've listed in one way or another.
In all honesty, like I said before I'd just be content to associate with women on a friends level, not necessarily on a relationship level. But even then, it's irritating to just see them staring at you doing nothing. Even the unorthodox ones do this and even then, it might not be a signal for romance at all. This isn't so much about my bitterness at rejection as it is about bitterness at people who continually screw around and are extraordinarily dishonest. It's disturbing seeing them not only do this but also content to leave things at that. As a student attending uni, I am in a very intellectual setting yet even the women here still abide by these same behaviors.
There is also the strange way in which women operate according to who they find attractive according to masculine phoniness instead of genuine kindness, their need to always have the man act first, and their need to play games in the relationship instead of being upfront and honest about the whole thing. Men can be superficial at times but an asshole personality will diminish the beauty of women and make them unappealing to the man while for women, an asshole personality is seen as kinda sexy. Even those "decent guys" who are seen as dateable still have to maintain the facade of jerkiness at times just to get anywhere. Romance it seems isn't about actual romance but rather just a stupid game.
>>18 Hi OP maybe you're gay? if you don't like women fuck men. Problem solved.
oh and..
>..student attending uni, I am in a very intellectual setting
LOL!
<Sometimes women would stare at me or make signals, but I hated it. I didn't know whether it was sexual interest, concern, or just a need to try and make friends. Oft we would never speak and that's that. I always loathed when that happened, since I thought to myself, if you really want to know me, why not say something? Honestly, the whole staring thing really unnerved me sometimes and I didn't want to respond period.>
<But other times, I would always notice women were very much
into superficial things. For example, they always fake smile or put an emphasis into quirky traits of personality instead of cultivating a genuine personality: Style over substance you might say. Their need of always making goofy faces and genuinely acting like buffoons in photos and videos, it's like they're trying hard to impress someone. They always wear ridiculously form fitting outfits and are insistent on showing as much skin as possible, like they're trying to devalue themselves. The same goes for their need to wear pretty jewelry and make sure their hair looks long and pretty.>
<Then I came upon a revelation: Women are like pets. You rarely ever see them with any genuine personality of their own, instead they oft prefer to talk in silly voices or get ludicrously excited over nothing. Men do the same thing but certainly not to the degree that women do. And the insistence of women on playing games, especially when it comes to seduction, feels so cheap because you're essentially reducing the aspect of trying to get to know someone to half-hearted gestures and deceits, like someone is a prize to be won and not someone to be known for their merits.>
Why don't you stop being narrow minded, and open your eyes, your mind and your world.
Maybe it's YOUR fault for expecting way too much from women? What do you want them to do?
You want them to worship you?
Want them to follow what you want to do?
Do you that think their job is to entertain you, and you alone?
I'm sorry but the world doesn't revolve around you and you need fucking grow up.
To judge the female population on a small group that you presumably live around, is child's mentality.
I can't believe you ignorant fucks like you can go to University. You may be intelligent in terms of knowledge, but your "street-smarts", "wisdom", "common sense" or whatever you want to call it, is FUBAR.
you shouldnt be so bothered about the staring, you ignore them and they will eventually ignore you, or get frustrated. you shouldnt be bothered either way since you dont know her and she doesn't deserve to know you if she expects you to approach first and be on the high ground.
The gay thing is actually more likely than not at all, quite a few of the misogynists I've known in the past ending up coming out months or even years later. I think it was some kind of way to rationalise their indifference towards women and their discomfort towards female advances. Whether it's because OP's gay, asexual or just has some weird sexual hangups, I don't think it's anyone's problem but his own.
This post seems to have two main issues OP's general attitude to woman and OP's misunderstanding about eye contact/flirting.
>Sometimes women would stare at me or make signals, but I hated >it[...]Honestly, the whole staring thing really unnerved me >sometimes and I didn't want to respond period.
Eye contact is simply a way for a person to indicate interest, the fact OP didn't take any initiative and the woman's interest triggered such negative emotions is especially telling. She was taking initiative while OP did not.
As for the girls not approaching him? They probably chose not to because he did not return their interest, maybe OP lacks the subtleties of non-verbal communication or maybe he indicated disinterest thus killing any chances he may have had.
generally it goes like this OP, the gender of the person does not matter but IT IS a two way street. One doesn't approach without the other's permission.
Person A, makes eyecontact with Person B. Maintain eye contact a little longer than normal
Person B looks away and looks back.
Person A or B smiles, smile is returned.
Person A or B approaches the other.
This guide might be of use to you:
http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
SIRC(social issues research centre) Guide to Flirting.
The whole post could basically be paraphrased as
>it's their fault I don't like them. It is everyone else's >problem and not my own.
What is more likely? all women are fundamentally dislikable? or that OP is simply not interested in them or perhaps scared of them and uses his extreme and unfounded generalisations and 'hate' as a cover for it, to hide from himself and others.
I have to say this actually helped me a lot. Thanks. Definitely not gay though.
#17 here... Wow, OP, wow. You assume so much. What my post was saying is that you are making assumptions about people that you don't necessarily know as true. Do you KNOW why girls reject you? I think that is the answer you need to hunt down. From reading your posts I see that you are an insightful and intelligent person, but you're also very hostile, perhaps jaded. Maybe when people initially see you they might see you as an interesting person, but then you send signals of hostility (or weirdness) that makes them turn away. Just a thought...
"There is also the strange way in which women operate according to who they find attractive according to masculine phoniness instead of genuine kindness, their need to always have the man act first, and their need to play games in the relationship instead of being upfront and honest about the whole thing. Men can be superficial at times but an asshole personality will diminish the beauty of women and make them unappealing to the man while for women, an asshole personality is seen as kinda sexy. Even those "decent guys" who are seen as dateable still have to maintain the facade of jerkiness at times just to get anywhere. Romance it seems isn't about actual romance but rather just a stupid game."
Okay, comment here. I do not know anything about games or behaviors, I don't have your level of observation. But I will say if I see a guy is a jerk, I run the opposite way. What I was saying was nothing about games, but what I assume if I see someone I find attractive. I automatically think he must be a superficial asshole who is not worth my time, even if he may be a really kind person. Its because I don't want to take the chance at being rejected. Assholes have confidence, which women like. But I don't go for the asshole, I go for the guy who is intelligent and cheerful and doesn't have to be fixed.
But last point: stop assuming, and hunt down the reason why girls are rejecting you. They aren't the only ones sending signals.
In all honesty, sometimes I do get people faking smiles at me out of nowhere I suppose it is natural given that I am exceptionally introverted and sometimes I always worry when in approaching people, that I would naturally be rejected due to some heretofore unseen flaw within myself. It would seem that others are more aware of it than I am. Could you elaborate more on where you see this hostility? If it is even perceived easily on an online medium then it really is that bad and so help would be greatly appreciated.
>But last point: stop assuming, and hunt down the reason why girls are rejecting you. They aren't the only ones sending signals.
I think OP should mention to a male friend casually, like, "Dude, I can't seem to get any chicks... I feel like something is wrong with me." If he doesn't say anything particularly helpful, just ask him "Do you think there's something wrong with me?" Hopefully he'd be honest. It would be more helpful if he's someone who has seen how you act around women.
I have no friends that close to me. So perhaps if you have such knowledge, I would greatly appreciate you sharing it.
Hmmm, you seem a lot like me a few years ago. I had only distant friends, and I just hang out with people a lot... well, I do more. My social problems do not stem from me being unfriendly, or for being unatractive. My social problems stem from me willfully keeping distance from others. An example of this is I wish I could go clubbing more, but don't have anyone to go clubbing with. I mentioned this at a birthday party a few weeks ago and a friend said, "geez, you only live three miles away from me. You could just give me a call." There are people I could get to know better and become better friends with, but I don't because I just don't want to pry, and it would make me feel awkward. I do have three people that I am close with and that is my dad, my boyfriend, and my "little brother" my best friend. I do have several friends that I do spend time with once in a while and people tend to have a good opinion of me.
I think you probably just have the same problem, you tend to keep your distance from people even though you crave human contact. I think there are a lot of people around that would fall into that category. And you seem a bit bitter about it because you have labelled human interaction "a game" and have declared people of the opposite sex "pets" and "fake". Sometimes people do play games but often people don't. People have to do things like work and go to school and can't "play a game" 24/7. My advice to you would be to set aside all the harsh feelings because they don't help you with anything, they are just baggage. Try to develop a cheerful demeanor, or try to be a little more positive. I acquired a cheerful demeanor out of thin air three years ago which absolutely changed my life. I don't really know how I got it, but it is quite helpful. You will also have to learn to approach other people and talk to them, probably the best way to do this would be to get involved with groups. Volunteering or social groups are great for this because they have prearranged meetings which avoids the whole "you wanna hang out?" call. Finally just take your time and don't be hard on yourself. You're going to have to step outside of your comfort zone if you ever want to develop good friendships, but it is worth it. And if I am totally wrong and none of this is helpful, my apologies.
please op, stop worrying about details. stop trying to analyze other people feelings about you. you need a change of perspective. stop thinking of girls as "girls" and start thinking of them as possible friends. try to think the best of things, and the best of people. And if friends fails you somehow, try to forget and forgive. become narcissist. when you realize you are feeling down and shy in some specific situation, force yourself to stop being down, and be awesome and cheerful instead.
it will be hard at the beginning. to stop thinking what other people think about you is hard. but it's for the best.
tl/dr; watch gurren lagann and become a man.
#30, I second that!!
I was like #29 too, but then i realized i was taking things too seriously all the time. Then i started to lighten up a lot more then i started meeting lots more people. some are fake, but that's just what they're like...and i guess you have to be careful around them, but that's no reason to hate all women is it? Everyone has their bad sides and there are some things that people have done that have really pissed me off, but there are other parts of them that are nice right?
Maybe I'm a little older and more experienced than a lot of others in this thread.
There is something very important you have to remember about women at all times, especially if you're starting to have serious feelings for one.
Women aren't men. Women don't think like men. Men don't even think quite like one another. Don't think you understand her or know what she's going to do or what she feels, because you don't.
Women are especially good at sensing desperation. There are some suggestions from the field of evolutionary psychology that this is an ability they evolved to help them select appropriate mates. And some--not all, not most, but a significant number, and more than will admit it--get their jollies playing sadistic games with guys who seem desperate. Stringing you along, raising your hopes only to crush them, makes them horny. They get off on it. You will meet significant numbers of women like this. Always keep in mind the possibility that she's lying to you, especially if things seem too good to be true.
If you forget this, you're going to get hurt, very very badly. You're probably going to get hurt even if you remember it but forgetting it makes it certain that the pain is going to come early and often.
And you may find as the years go by that you worry about such things less and less anyway. Maybe at twenty you're a horndog and you can't stop thinking about sex. Spend ten years busting your ass working sixty hours a week and at thirty, you'll be able to take it or leave it, as you please. Women may or may not find you more attractive, you may or may not have more success with them, but it will matter less to you. By forty you won't give a shit: "fuck you, if you don't like me. I have a hobby and it's not you."
And that bitch who strung you along and lied to you and broke your heart so badly when you were twenty-three that you couldn't even bring yourself to date for ten years after that? She's broke now, living in a trailer with her four squalling projectile-vomiting brats, after she drove her husband away. You get to think about her and laugh now.
Like the man says, "You should listen to me 'cause my name is Charlie Mug and brudda, I been AROUND."
While I thank >>29, >>30, and >>32 for their help, >>33 really catches some of my concerns well. I hate that women control this dating game, that they're so harshly judgmental of men who want to date them and won't meet their standards to the point that they rebuke them like they're not even people. They're so condescending towards socially awkward people or those who can't express their feelings right, that even the women who aren't really haughty or prissy, that I feel disgusted and the idea of actually having sex with someone who could be so cruel and condescending is an abomination. I hate how they like to judge men and act like they have the moral high ground with no qualifications whatsoever.
When you think of a woman's actual basis for selecting a mate which is confidence and that they'll always find the douchey alpha male type infinitely hotter than some normal confident guy who does have problems and isn't as confident as douchey alpha male, I can't help but think they're nothing more than animals who act like people but just expose them to anything resembling mating rituals or someone trying to ask them out and they'll become totally different people, obsessed with playing their stupid games and passing judgment on men, stringing them along without having the moral character to simply say you don't feel that way about him while he pines after you and you know it or acting completely oblivious to a man's emotional needs. What they lust for are superficial bullshit stereotypes of masculinity and not anything genuine. How they won't actually have the courage to tell how they feel and instead send intentionally deceptive mixed signals, definitely making someone feel like shit and like they don't matter to the woman. All this makes me feel violent as a matter of fact. If a woman could get away with cheating, I honestly think she'd do it without any remorse. And I know that if a woman ever cheated on me I'd hit her. It's not something I'm not exactly proud to reveal but there it is.
> I know that if a woman ever cheated on me I'd hit her. It's not something I'm not exactly proud to reveal but there it is.
I'm starting to think that it's probably not a good idea to change your mind about the issue, I think you would be quite a pain for the unfortunate soul who decided to date you.
So please go on hating and avoiding women: all the more room for us who can appreciate them ^_^
/thread
Not all women are the same, buddy. They're like men - 99% are shit, but there are still a few good ones out there, you just have to find them in the right climate (don't try to find a girlfriend in a club/disco/party). It may take a long time, but it's well worth the work.
I feel very disturbed by your issue OP, because guess what... I'm a woman! I am also offended by how you would classify me at the same level as an animal for absolutely no good reason. You are stereotyping, and judging. You are displacing your own personal issues on half of the population, and I take offense to this because you are displacing your issues on me.
This is like blaming Mexicans for not being able to find a job, or blaming bad schools on black children. Stop placing your problems on other people! Sure there are rotten women out there, but there are also rotten men, and you are one of them! Thank God I can distinguish good men from bad, decent men from assholes. Since you cannot discern bitches and whores from the rest of the female population you classify all of us as the same. Wake the fuck up, asshole!!
#38, certainly there are, though you cannot tell. We are all anonymous, where race, sex, age, location and everything else cannot be determined unless the user reveals it. And even then the user can be lying. But I may as well say some general facts about me:
sex: female
age: 27
weight: 1281bs.
height: 65"
Occupation: College student (senior)
race: caucasian
religion: monotheist
class: lower middle class
I grew up as a poor, clumsy kid in California. Because I was teased constantly in middle school I developed social anxiety for many years. In high school I did very poorly and suffered from paranoia and constant depression. I never received any therapy or help for my condition, and no one showed me any concern. I barely graduated high school in 1999 and joined the Navy. Throughout my enlistment I grew very cynical and ambivalent about life in general. I was very resentful about people and grew to hate them. Once I got out of the navy I started going to community college and working. Once I was out of the navy and had freedom to do what I wanted with my life changed my outlook. I started making friends and started becoming happier. I had to battle with my own anxiety and depression for several years, but I've won that battle. Nothing is perfect but I'm about to graduate college, I have friends that are close to me and that I can go to whenever I need someone to talk to, and I even have someone to fall in love with.
OP and I have both been through a tough life but there is a vital difference: I don't blame anyone for the way my life is. I know it is what I do that determines the way my life is. It is the attitude I have, the choices I make and the way I respond the events that shape my destiny. OP blames women for the way his life is. Women aren't the problem, he is causing the problems in his life. In my life I could have blamed so many things: I could have blamed people in general, I could have blamed the class society, I could have blamed God, I could have blamed my mother, or my father, or not having any money. But I didn't blame anyone (except myself) and because of that I could change my life. Because OP blames women for his problem and cannot see past a person's gender he is losing the power to find the real problem and fix it.
Seriously, I'm a girl. I don't have the sophistication to play this game he tells me I'm so skilled at. I don't have time or interest to manipulate others. I think if I tried to I would make a fool of myself anyways. I'm trying to graduate college so I can get a good career and make my own living. What I look for in a guy is the characteristics I want in myself: confidence, good humor, intelligence, honesty, honor, but also someone who is humble. I don't want someone that is pretending to be someone he isn't, or thinks he is more then he really is. I want someone who is equal to me. Are those high expectations? Well, guess what? Even though I wasn't searching for anyone I found what I was looking for.
To be fair I think cheaters of both sexes deserve an ass-kicking. It's about fairness really. You can hurt someone by cheating but they can't hit you back? It's like saying that you shouldn't be entitled to defend yourself if someone makes a random hit at you.
While Emersonian self-reliance has merit insofar as things that people can control, there are matters of which are beyond their reach. Likewise people can influence people but not necessarily in the way that they want. In this case, I act nice to everyone and am generally a decent person but apparently that's not enough. It would be deranged to ask someone to reward me with a date based on said niceness but why go for all the people who make their interest readily clear? Why don't they make their interest known without needing some initiation by the other party? All this seems to be indicating that I need to become someone more outgoing but the idea of changing my basic personality just to appeal romantically to people when there's nothing inherent in shyness is appalling. Genuine decency is apparently not enough in a mate. The notion that missed chances are all the man's fault due to his lack of approaches is such an irritating concept that whoever adheres to it needs an ass-kicking. You don't seem like one of those types but as someone who has associated with a broad spectrum of women in all environments, it seems this type of women is exceedingly rare. It's agonizing how guys of across the spectrum seem varied but there's only two types of women: The standard and the unorthodox and the standard is a chore to deal with.
Even then, a woman will never ask someone out. Instead they'll continue send half-assed signals then blame the man just because he can't interpret the signals or didn't want to make an ass out of himself based on misunderstandings. In the latter case they'll label men cowards but women aren't cowardly too? What's worse is how much on the short end of the stick shy guys are on. Women are expected to be asked out but they'll never show the same courtesy to guys. Sometimes it's just a fear of arrest or social inabilities that prevents me from approaching but this is apparently something inexcusable in a woman's eyes.
>>40
it's >>35 here. If think your comment has no bearing with mine, probably you referenced the wrong post. Otherwise please care to develop a bit more your ideas and their connection to my answer.
>a woman will never ask someone out.
It depends on what you call ask someone out. If you are talking about visibly showing interest in the other person, then personally I have experienced about 50% of both instances: me going to the girl, or the girl coming to me. As for asking someone out, even me, being a man, would only do that when it's blindingly clear that the answer will be "yes", usually past the kissing stage.
Anyways, if the basis of your argument is that women should do the first move, it entails that you should also do it. At best it's not only your fault that nothing happened, but it STILL is your fault,...
Ok, I did a little (more like googled and read a few dating articles and forums) research. What struck me is there are a fair number of girls that do approach guys. Personally I don't approach guys because back when I was single I didn't have the confidence to. Yeah, girls have issues with shyness and lack of confidence. And for that reason until I was 25, lost weight, and became more outgoing I never got asked out.
Girls can be as shy as guys, and won't approach them because they don't want to be rejected. Some girls who approach guys get rejected because the guy sees it as meaning she's easy, or controlling and doesn't want to deal with a girl like that. But probably the biggest reason is girls are less interested in a guy's looks and more interested in personality. For me it's hard to tell if a guy is a good guy or an asshole just by looking at him. I don't want to go up to a guy because I think he's cute and then find out he's an utter jerk that I don't want to share air space with.
But I think the reason you don't get asked out is because you're sending out negative signals. One thing I've learned since I started dating is even though I was very socially inactive when I was younger I can tell when a guy is interested in me. It's intuition, for some reason I just know. Women are very good at reading signs. We can easily tell what the guy is thinking because of body language and facial expression. It's like having sensitive hearing, we can hear well, but guys are practically deaf. In order to get a guy's attention a girl will have to practially scream before a guy will get a clue. My point is that you may be picking up on the signals, but you may be sending out your own. You feel very hostile about approaching girls, and you probably convey this whenever someone shows interest in you.
There are probably girls out there that would be thinking about approaching you. They could be looking at you, seeing if you are interesting trying to figure out what kind of person you are, and thinking about coming up and talking to you. Once you notice this instead of smiling at them, you frown wrinkle your forehead, turn your body away, etc. This shouts at her "leave me the fuck alone!" The message is loud and clear and they aren't going to bother with trying to talk to you.
You could try being more assertive and asking girls out, but there are other ways you can improve your chances as well. You do have to get rid of the hostility because you will drive girls away without even saying a word. If you are giving hostile signals you're already telling a girl no before she even gets a chance to talk to you. You have to be open to girls approaching you. Secondly, you could try the internet or joining a club or something where you could make friends with girls. This helps you with getting more comfortable around girls. Your best chances of being approached is becoming friends first and letting her know what you are like. Once a girl gets comfortable with you and figures out you are a decent person your more likely to get asked out. Hope this is helpful.
Well really I would like you to elaborate more on this hostility. I can understand such an interpretation at my stance towards adultery but nowhere else.
And when you say this
>But probably the biggest reason is girls are less interested in a guy's looks and more interested in personality...In order to get a guy's attention a girl will have to practially scream before a guy will get a clue.
Oh you have no idea how much that hurts. These days for guys, it's not a fear of rejection, it's a fear of being arrested. Women have no mercy when it comes to dealing with socially awkward guys and if they lampoon them or make them out to be fools, it's perfectly acceptable. Especially when you see her more confident friends start acting cocky around her and it'll make you extremely jealous. You can ask her to stop but then she'll see you as "clingy" despite that you're just stating your needs or you're just socially awkward and therefore not worth anyone's time. Really I don't see why it's so hard for women to simply make their interest known without bullshitting around all the time. Yes we all fear rejection but at least most men learn to stop dicking around. Most women don't.
In fact, given how women think it's alright to talk shit about a guy's lack of lovemaking talent behind his back to their gossipy little girlfriends, it seems for women that the guy deserves it, even though he's done nothing wrong whatsoever. If the guy says something shy or acts the least socially backward, she'll automatically think lesser of him. It seems as if the slightest infraction will kick a man off a woman's fucking ladder and into the friend zone.
As for women needing signals as the sole source of communication, come on. It's downright insulting. Are women really that afraid to make their interests known through words? Not that men don't face the same fear but that it's acceptable for women to sit idly by and do nothing is a sham. These signals are inherently deceptive and yet it's perfectly acceptable for women to be solely reliant upon them? What's worse is when you say that women are really good at telling signals yet you later say how they can easily misinterpret them. The whole thing is a crock.
Another thing that bothers me is how women need a guy to have a varied life full of different hobbies that the guy will ignore but keep for the sake of looking varied. On the other hand men are free to look at the person for who they are and not because of any lifestyle choices or hobbies they have.
You know: bottom line what I suggested was to learn how to make friends with people. You will never get a girlfriend, a boyfriend and you will never be able to associate with people in general until you learn how to be friends first. I'm sorry you have gone though what you have, but until you actually try to learn how to be friend with people you will be spinning the same scenario forever.
Once you stop crying the "woe is me" ballad and do something to make your life better you may see some progress in your life. But I cannot convince you of that, you're going to have to figure it out yourself. I don't say this to belittle or mock you, but as someone who has been in the same place as you, and have moved beyond where you are now. I'm done.
Stop being a pussy bitch and man the fuck up.
No it's that women will always use their bullshit signals to indicate interest instead of actually making the first move. Or failing that, they'll never ask someone out. They might show interest but everything else is the guy's responsibility. Given how women find challenge and thrills in a mate attractive instead of anything genuine, it's almost like the whole need for the man to make the first move is an affirmation of their shallow ways because they lust for superficial masculine gimmicks.
Don't worry, once you realize how pathetic you were for selling your dignity and personality just to get some shallow piece of cunt to ride your limp dick now covered in disease, we'll still be laughing at you.
Being a nice person kinda sucks…at least for guys that is. From being a nice person i’ve found that people think they can get away with more from you, they think that just because you’re a nice they can walk all over you. I suggest a nice balance between being nice and a jerk somewhere in the middle. Because then you won’t have to deal with that. As strange as it is for other guys who read this you have to realize that the more of an ass you are the more people will respect you, and the more girls will like you. and as for you girls who read this if you’re a bitch you better also be hot, otherwise nobody will want to even get near you. Harsh yes, but i speak the truth.
Sorry, let me clarify this further:
Stop being a pussy bitch who blames all women on his unhappiness and man the fuck up, starting with learning some self-critique.
XD
It's not my fault that women are freaks of nature. I've finally accepted this basic truth of their existence and generally keep away from their screwy behaviors. I'm pretty happy bud.
i think if you don't like women than go to men. Not all women are like that. I think that men and women are the same on the inside. Men and women could be seen the same way. it really depends on the person themselves. I use to see that men are idiots sometimes. Some of them try too hard to get attention or get into a woman's pants. I think it's because of your personal experiences you think that way. But if you meet someone special and that person loves you for who you are than, you proved to yourself that not all women are the same. And that you CAN find someone that is not the same as others...
I apologize for my rampant callousness earlier. Honestly I think I'm not expressing myself clearly enough here. Really I'm not looking for a relationship. But now my woman problem has to do with their attractions to men. A woman must be attracted to a man for his confidence and guts but a man, while initially attracted to a woman's looks, can grow to love her for who she really is and the looks become trivial. By extension a woman can even find serial killers sexier than someone normal who isn't spineless but doesn't have enough guts to go around doing crazy shit. Without that essential confidence, a man is just a friend to a woman.
My question is: Is a woman really looking for genuine love in a romantic relationship? Can she really grow to love him for who he really is? It would seem that in this need for confidence and not personality first, that romance for a woman seems something superficial and transparent, something not even romantic. I hear women say all the time that they've broken up with their boyfriends because they were "too boring," but not exactly spineless. They always want their man to be spontaneous. What is that? That seems so grossly insulting. So what is romance to a woman? Actual love or just cheap thrills?
>>52
I think you have here accurately described women of the 'idiotic, vapid, airheaded and insubstantial' variety. There are many women (but they can't even be compared to the hordes of blondes with 5 layers of make up) that are intelligent, can love most ardently, etc. I think, and I am sure you realise it as well, the trouble is finding them. Also, aesthetics do play a part. They must! The subjects having a symmetrical face can help, for instance.
I should also ask why women send mixed signals. Seriously, why? I look at literature throughout history, even dating back to medieval periods, that tell of women sending mixed signals all the time and I hate it. I hate it. I can't stand this type of dishonesty and I can't stand that women apparently think that this dishonesty is okay. If I could get a woman's perspective on why this is acceptable, I would be so happy.
From a woman's viewpoint here, I could readily agree with most of what you say. Half of the women I know should not be a part of this race and species and the other half seclude themselves into the minority with their intelligence. I believe it easier for women to catch a guy the sleaziest way possible. It is completely disgusting and tarnishes the sex of women. Then again, I could say the same for guys who tarnish the reputation of men.
It all starts back to when they were raised and brought up into the world. Find a decent background and there should be a decent girl. Then again, having women screech to each other in means of communication may have faulted my thinking due to me accidentally walking in the middle of the hollering. That's the irk I could complain about without stopping. The mixed signals, not so much so. That's the typical woman and I doubt they are going to change any time soon.
You know, it seems like evolution has become harsher for humans. I've heard back in the past, it wasn't that hard to mate. Now, in the modern times, everything has gotten more complicated like having new technology, etc. Things has become much more complex than the old days. Inevitably, it also affected the whole mating game. If you think about it, there's a feeling the world is being populated too quick, so I think 'something' in evolution wants to prevent us from having more humans. In the evolution process, 'something' has caused the rules to become harder for us to pass our genes and spread it. 'The survival of fittest' of evolution has like become a lot more tougher and pushed up higher than the standard level before. This is can be reflected in the statistics. More divorce, independence, less children/babies, individualistic thinking, stronger enforcement in the use of contraceptives, more suicides, more crazy people like serial killers/rapists/hideous crimes, mental illnesses/diseases, attitudes/behaviours of women, and the list goes on. Nowadays it's less tolerant to spread one's genes.
In my opinion of the human race and it's direction to evolution. I don't think it's going on the right path. I personally don't think of humans highly. I don't think living and being human is worth it. Really you can feel it. Crazy people/things everywhere, self-doubts, the irony, etc. Why would one want to be a human?
It's just ironic, the life aspect, the point and reason in it. The more you think about it, the more depressing it looks. People don't talk about this aspect of life, or if you did, you 're ridicule and laughed at, socially it's not 'acceptable' to mention the 'truth'. There are 'things' that are preventing us from thinking and mentioning them. I think it's for evolution's sake, and it's controlling us. It's just irony.
>>56
Is that even English?
Also, what 'it' is is modern society and 'culture' (the only cultural artifacts of worth are those that have been passed on to us, really) and systems of oppression employed by blundering power hungry, capital accruing governments.